My Way to Happiness: A Battle with Anorexia

WRITTEN BY VICTORINE KULIER

We all struggle with our own personal insecurities. Some of us tend to be more critical than others, but we’ve all had that notion of not feeling worthy or good enough, and creep into our thoughts like there’s nothing else that matters. We cast a critical filter upon ourselves, stare into the mirror until we find anything that could possibly not be perfect. You might feel confident, but not confident enough. Pretty, but not pretty enough. Skinny, but not skinny enough.

If you find these thoughts spiral out of control and your emotions run wild, take a deep breath, sit down with a cup of tea and read this interview as a little reminder that you are not alone in this. Instagram blogger Nadine Huber tells us about her battle with being addicted to self-worth through starvation and how she successfully fights it every day. The following is a testament to passion, to happiness and to life itself. A reminder, that we are all capable of doing great things – it all starts with loving and accepting ourselves exactly the way we are.  Let Nadine help inspire you to be your own inspiration!

P R O F I L E

Name: Nadine Huber

Profession: Retail Manager

Residence: Switzerland

Age: 40

Actual Weight: 65kg

Height: 1.83m

• Hey Nadine, thank you for the interview. Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. What’s your story? What was your childhood like?

I’m a Swiss woman with lots of love for fitness, fashion, beauty and everything else that makes life beautiful. I always try to make the most out of every day and I’m super passionate about fulfilling my dreams. My way to happiness is to live in the moment and enjoy every day as much as possible. Before I started my fitness journey I was skinny- not eating much at all- unhealthy, always tired and sick. Two years ago, I decided to change for the better and I turned from sickly skinny to fit and strong. I learned how to be positive and to be happy with who I am. It’s changed my life!

• So many people struggle with EDs every day. How and when did your ED really start to take over your life?

I’ve always struggled with body image issues (and on top of that, I have always been thin. I’ve never been overweight, but it’s a mental thing). I never got quite skinny enough for people to be incredibly concerned about my physical health. I never told anyone how much I was struggling. Sure, some people might have noticed a sign here or there, but I was careful and so good at faking it. For a while, I was even able to fake it to myself. I thought that I was fine. At this point, the ED started to take over my life.

• What was the biggest struggle or challenge you had to face during your recovery and how did you overcome it?

For sufferers of anorexia a large part of the day is filled with organizing their complicated lives according to their own rules. People often think anorexics are never hungry but that’s not true. The constant preoccupation with food dominates their world. Starving is an achievement. This achievement strengthens the self-confidence and the feeling of being something special.

To me it was clear I needed something that would fill my day. I needed to add structure to my day and my week. I needed something measurable so I could have achievements. I needed something that would make me proud of myself and make me feel good, something that also strengthened my self-confidence and the feeling of being something special. I decided to pick a sport and then fall into deep, passionate, intense love with it.

• When you decided to become fit and work out regularly, how did you go about it?

In my language the word for Anorexia is Magersucht. Translated into English it means something like “skinny addiction”. Says it all. If anorexics and bulimics can be thought of as dieting junkies, the best treatment may be a substitute drug. Well at least, that’s what I thought – and it worked!

I’ve chosen fitness to be my substitute drug. I started to follow a strict meal and workout plan. This has given structure to my new life. I had a goal and I could make achievements. This strengthens my self-confidence. I finally found something that makes me feel good and proud of myself.

• Which part of your body do you like most?

I would say I like my brain. Not only is it the most powerful part of the body that runs everything but you are able to dream too.

• What specific role did diet play in the process? What major changes did you make?

Personally, I don’t like the word diet. A diet is something that can end. But this isn’t temporary, it’s a lifestyle choice. When we created my meal plan, we thought about what is good for my body and what my body needs. The focus has always been on my health. This was the major change I made – to focus on my health instead of focusing on my looks.

• What does your daily diet look like?

All my needs are in balance. I love balance and I love to make sure my body gets what it needs. My goal is to eat within an hour of waking up and then every 3 hours after that for a total of six meals per day. With counting macros, I know better what my body needs and how to give it to it. I eat about 2600 calories a day.

• Have you had to deal with any setbacks along the way?

Some days I still struggle with body image. But it’s the opposite now – I’m afraid to be too skinny.

• What or who are your biggest inspirations?

My biggest influencers are strong, creative women that create their own path, lead their own lives, and drive the course of history. My biggest inspiration is not one single person, but rather it’s the kind of woman who wakes up in the morning and says, ‘Today I am all in.’ All in for their relationships, marriage, parenting, business ownership, being an employee, etc. I feel like we hold back and spend so much time playing safe. Our world would be dramatically different if we all gave a 100 percent in every aspect of our lives.

• Please compare your everyday life now and when you were most struggling with the ED

When I look back, I see all the sorrows I had and the joyful moments I missed. Now, I’ve learned to celebrate life. It is wonderful to be alive. I learned to love life and to love myself.

• What’s your favorite quote?

>>Life is a one-time offer, use it well.<<

• Any more tips for girls or guys going through the same or a similar situation you went through?

Whether it’s in your personal or professional life – do not underestimate yourself. We tend to do this a lot, but in reality it’s very dangerous to accept anything less than your best. You are more powerful than you can possibly imagine. So set a goal and go for it! Only you can change your life! Don’t wait for the perfect moment – start now! Allow yourself to be happy.

• What are your present goals?

My present goal is to be an inspiration to other people. I think that’s the beauty of it all. You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, Hillary Clinton or Arianna Huffington. If you are the best version of yourself, you’re bound to make a difference in at least one person’s life. So I just hope my way inspires other women to be their own inspiration.